My Dad, My Hero

The cry of a little baby girl sounded in the delivery room on May 26, 1974, and the eyes of my parents burst into tears. Seventeen years before, when my father was a teenager, he read the book The Leningrad Doctor and he fell in love with the name of the leading character: Salia Yanina. He was a very special man, one of the few who wished a daughter instead of a son. Although I don’t remember the day I met him, my mother told me that, under the spell of his voice, I turned my face to that special man. His voice was a well-known melody for me because he spent those nine months talking to the bump, and telling me how much he loved me. That day, I met Hector Rivera, the man who became my role model and my best friend for the 10 years I had him in my life. My father was the best teacher and role model; although he passed away in my early childhood, his example has influenced me in so many ways. I read somewhere that girls base their relationship with their future husbands on the way their father treated their mother. As I grew, I witnessed the love my father had for my mother, his “monster” as he called her, teasingly. I grew up watching how much he respected, supported and admired her. I saw him prepared dinner for mom, because she came home tired after work. Also, I heard him talk with others about my mother telling them whata strong and brave woman she was. I never saw him raise his voice to her; when they had an argument, he was so patient and preferred to go out for a walk before he mistreated or offended her. From him, I learned that a real man respects and appreciates the women in his life. He was always so patient with my mother, grandmother and me, even when we plotted to make him mad. He always hugged and kissed us, and any argument was over. My father’s behavior showed me that a male can be sweet, kind and loyal, but at the same time strong, manly and tough. In the same manner, he showed me what to expect from a man and how I need to empower myself to choose the best partner in life. Indeed, he was the first man who bought me flowers, and the first one who took me out on a date. I cherish those Mondays when we used to go to our favorite restaurant “Frankfurt Mixtas,” just the two of us during our unique and special time. We loved this restaurant because of the environment, a really quiet place with this special table close to the window where you could see the garden. The food was also very good; we loved those special “mixtas” (tortilla with sausage, avocado, cabbage and their “secret” sauce) and we had our personal waiter who always greeted me with “ Welcome little princess. Nice to see you again. Your table is waiting for you.” I think my mother was jealous, in a way, but she understood the special connection that only a father and a daughter can have. During those Mondays, the sweetest sound of the day was the bell at the end of the school day because that meant that daddy was coming soon to pick me up and take me to eat our “mixtas,” My husband is in some ways very similar to my father. When I met Andres, my husband, the first thing that caught my attention was his neat presence: his shoes were perfectly polished, his hair perfectly combed, and he smelled as if he had just jumped out of the shower. This reminded me of the phrase that my father always said: “The first impression is the most important. You need to be always neat and prepared to impress”. After this first glance, as we continued the relationship, I noticed the charming way Andres treated my mother, his mother, my grandmother and of course myself. He always treated us with respect and showed us the importance and the place that we had in his life. Another similarity I noticed was that my husband wanted to be a pilot, and he couldn’t because of his vision problems, exactly like Hector. Also, like my father, my husband is so patient and kind with elders. He had a very special bond with my grandmother. It was delightful to see them talking, and how they shared the love for the same soccer team “los rojos.” She loved him as a real grandson, and he loved her as a real grandma. My mom always said that if my father were here he would approve of my relationship with Andres because he had many of the values my father had. Likewise, my father’s passion for serving others set the way I interrelated with people. He taught me to be kind, helpful and respectful. “You need to put yourself in their shoes,” he used to say. Consequently, he was always surrounded by people, and he had a lot of friends. He taught me by example. He opened a small business (a coin laundry) in our garage. One of his first customers was a senior male. He helped him load the machines and fold his clothes. When they finished, my father loaded his car with the baskets, took the gentlemen back to his home, and he never charged him for the washing. When I asked him why, he answered: “He is veteran and a widower, and lives on a very tight budget. I know, since the beginning, that he doesn’t have money to pay me back. But, I would love it if somebody would help my father in the same way I helped him.” My father was also respectful with everybody, regardless of who they were, their status, religion, race or social level. One day, we went to a children’s concert, and in the parking lot I saw a group of suspicious men. As they approached us, my father put me behind him to protect me. When the men were close one of them said to my father: “My lieutenant, nice to see you,” and he told the other guys: “This man was the only one who treated me well when I was a cadet in the army, and we need to respect him.” When the concert finished, and we went back to our car, we noticed that all the cars had broken windows, all but ours. I will never forget his words: “That is why you need to be nice to everybody because you never know when you will cross your path with them.” This experience really impacted me and I learned the lesson very well. My father’s phrase became the motto of my life and I try to treat each person I meet in the same way I would love to be treated. For example, the newspaper where I used to work in Guatemala was located in a house which didn’t have parking spaces, everybody needed to park on the streets. This was an everyday nightmare, but not for me because I always had a parking spot reserved by Juan, the guardian of the house next door. One day, a coworker asked Juan why he reserved the spot for me, and he answered “She is the only one who actually talks with me and seems interested in my life and family.” I try to always practice the lesson that my father taught me to respect other and to care about them. Although my dad left me too soon, the love, the lessons, and the values he saw in his little “Munnis” (as he called me) have remained, and are the foundation of the woman that I am now. The day he was murdered, I was 10 years old, but I remember that day as if it was yesterday. He went to his car and two males tried to rob him. My father, being the military man he was, fought back and was shot. He lived three more days after the shooting and his last words to my mother were: “Monster, forgive them, they don’t know Jesus and I don’t want you to live with resentment and bitterness. I am going home with the Lord.” Even in his last moments he showed the kind of man he was. His best lesson was to enjoy, cherish and treasure my family every day, regardless of the situation I am going through because I don’t know if today could be the last day I will see my loved ones. I never had the chance to tell him how much he impacted my life or how many wonderful memories I had with him. However, I am at peace with my conscience because I always told him how much I loved him, and that he was my hero and best friend